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A horrifying word that occurs to many minds now and often forms from seven dangerous letters- S-U-I-C-I-D-E. Many people find difficulty in coping up with life and its thorns. After several traumatic situations, he or she might ultimately take the impulsive decision of wanting to commit suicide. But should that be the first option?

Here’s the answer: IT IS NEVER AN OPTION! It is barely an easy alternative that has the most unsettling solution!

Look around you; the world is a beautiful place to live in and your life is much too valuable to succumb to negative emotions. With no intention of offending anyone’s feeling, you might think “What do they know? There’s nothing left to do!” But let me tell you, things only seem bigger when we look at it that way! The sad truth that you have no faith in you or in life is what is pushing your life to a dead end.

Try thinking the other way around for a moment, and you might realise that you were reacting to a tiny fragment of your very sufficient life. Your problem may surely be a huge one, but there is no human problem, that cannot be solved by humans themselves. Your biggest enemy is your silence.

If you ever find yourself contemplating suicide, then you need to take a rain check with everything else you are doing, find the one person you trust the most, and blurt your emotions out. This slays out half of that will to end your life.

A remarkable way of beating this thought when alone is to practice the pause. Every time a thought similar to suicide occurs to you, pause for a moment, look back upon your life, remember the faces of your people, and then open your eyes; you will be surprised that your decision would have transformed into doing just the opposite.

There’s always a way you can alter that negative situation into a positive approach; write down every solution you can think of except suicide, and you will magically re-write your own fate by finding un-thought-of solutions for your trauma.

One cannot blame you; there are a few things that only you feel, and it is hard to believe that someone else understands the extent of it, I get that. I’m sure you did not plan on the landing where you are. Sometimes, these thoughts are also genetic or are born from other problems like sleep disorders or any other imbalance in your system. But be your own cuckoo clock, and shout out every time you think about it. There is NO shame in doing so; you are indeed doing something pride-worthy.

I am sure you know, that there are counselors and therapists available to free you from your suicidal woes, but it all begins with self-help. Here are a few things you can try:

Don’t take an impulse decision. Give it a few days, and the tendency to commit suicide might find its way out when you don’t respond to it.
If you are spiritual, then indulge into reading books related to the same; visit a church or a temple.
Take a long walk, and think about every dream that you are yet left to achieve.
Get into the habit of writing a diary; there is no better way to let out your emotions than writing it.
Think about your family and how they would deal with it!
Visit a therapist
Lastly, as I said before, open up in front of someone you trust.
Join recreation classes like yoga, meditation, gym, dance, sing, music, sketching, painting, karate, etc.

The more you start doing the above, the less deeper you will find your problems.

Always know that problems are only temporary and suicide is not a permanent solution. Believe in your heart, that if you have still been kept alive, then things can definitely change for the better. Don’t take matters about your life and death in your hands. Write this up and paste it in your room, and that my dear ones, is the first step to terminate suicidal thoughts.

Many individuals feel the incessant need to please the person around them which makes them confident of their acceptance in the world they live in. Such people always need confirmation to avoid the feeling of self-doubt.

Here are a few characteristics that confirm one to be a ‘pleaser’.

The difficulty of saying ‘No’ to people even when you don’t want to do or say something.
Taking responsibility for other’s mistakes.
Often having the feeling that you have to say ‘Yes’ when people seek help.
Putting other people’s feelings first.
Believing that people expect you to be this way.
Being afraid that people won’t appreciate your work.
Thinking that your action will affect others in a certain way.
Always want to perform acts of service.

Do not over-think any of the above behavioural characteristics, but if you feel like it matches one your ways of thinking, then it is time you realise that you own your life, and everything else related to it. A very hard notion that pleasers believe in is that their relationships with people wouldn’t be the same anymore if they started saying ‘no’. You have to rely on what I say now, people who want to stay will stay anyway! When you overdo an effort to make others content, you will ultimately exhaust yourself and end up frustrated.

You are capable of being loved even when you don’t give in to people’s needs. Time will reveal to you that someday, these very people will need you, even if you don’t fulfil their requests. That will be because you are an important person, and not because you say ‘yes to everything’.

Quit worrying about what people think about you; people will come and go, you are your only constant. If you continue to do so, there might come a time when you feel that people have begun taking you for granted. Throw around your self-esteem in a way that people like being with you for the person you are, and not because you will bring them out of a situation whenever they need.

Here’s a fix to stop being a people’s pleaser, and be more you:

Accept yourself the way you are first: Until and unless you do not gather the courage to accept yourself the way you are, you cannot expect others too. Remember, charity begins at home. Once you do so, you will realise that there is no personal feeling better than that of self-acceptance. This will kick-start every other positive feeling in the body, thus making you a sought-after person!
It is very important that you please yourself first: Don’t you think it is important to be a bundle of oxygen yourself before you help others breathe? That cannot happen until you choose to please yourself. When you take up a task, believe that you have put in your best efforts. That will please you, and you would not feel bad even if your task is not appreciated. You will be above all feelings that depend on other people’s feelings.

No one else can decide your priorities but you; do what you find is best for you, and your life. There is no harm in being there for people, in fact, that might make you a positive person, but that is only up to a point where you and your life is not affected. Putting yourself before others is not a sin. That is a very normal and practical thing to do. You might find it a tad bit scary in the beginning when you stop pleasing others then in time you will experience the joy that comes with it. Draw a line between being helpful and being a pleaser!

Is Suicide Really An Option?

Don’t please away for Glory!