Everyone dreams of becoming a doctor, a pilot or a teacher as a kid. And as they grow up, they work hard towards achieving this goal. But if you a girl of an Indian society, then this would always remain a dream. Sad, isn’t it?.
In many families even today a girl child is considered as a burden that needs to be done away with. Many still feel that women should take care of the family while the man should be the bread-winner. Majority of the girls struggle hard against odds to go to schools and colleges, to create a place for themselves in society. But their happiness is short lived. Can you imagine how a women would feel when the first condition the groom’s family puts forth is that the lady should not go to work after marriage? This is what we are talking about today.
Forced Domestication of Women
In our traditionally patriarchal society forceful domestication takes many forms
- From a very young age girls are brought up to take care of the family. In some heart wrenching cases they are told they can study as long as they get married and any further decision would be taken by the husband.
- In many cases the male chauvinist ego takes a beating to send the woman in the house to work. He would rather keep her at home even if she is capable to supporting the family very well. A very famous dialogue goes “Mei Kamata Hu Na, Tumhe Kya Zaroorat Hai”
- Finally, there are these in-laws who feel that a working daughter-in-law is not appropriate for their image in the society and their famous dialogue is “Log Kya Kahenge”
So how does this affect the women?
Not allowing anyone to do what they want can create a resentment in the self concept as well as it can strain relationships to a great extent.
But imagine not even having the freedom to dream. That is what many women go through India. Most of the times they undergo severe depression. With no person to reach out to, they lose hope and lead a monotonous life with kids and family. A girl who used to love challenges and met deadlines super efficiently now gets up in the morning to cook and clean and follow the same routine every day.
Let’s what happens when women are forcefully made to stay at home and are subjected to these kinds of treatment over a period of time.
- Mood Swings: Due to the depression and unhappiness, they would snap at even the slightest provocation. This can be a real danger for family relations.
- Isolation from family and friends: many women start avoiding company of both family and friends. They seek isolation to avoid their preconceived notion of humiliation. They move into a shell cutting themselves out from the outside world. Sometimes they even do so to not be compared from what they said before marriage and what they are actually doing.
- Depression and anxiety: These two words would be actually under rating their feelings. They go through much more than that. Without a means to let out their feelings the depression could lead to greater physical and mental issues and even lead to suicide.
- Suicidal tendencies: Our research says 1 in every 5 forcefully domesticated women thinks of committing suicide because they feel worthless and hopeless in life. This is probably the last and the most extreme stage of depression due to forced domesticating.
If you are a father, brother or husband please understand and consider the women as an individual. If she wants to stay at home give her that space but if she wants to work, give her the freedom to dream and the wings to achieve that dream. Let her walk with you shoulder to shoulder. Be proud her achievement. Be the reason for the happiness in the eyes of your daughter, sister and wife.